*____don't worry, i'm watching over you___

Thursday, May 05, 2005

darnedday

i just cant find how to lock my blog. will anybody tell me?? bet you won't cos then you won't see my posts. call that ego? hmm

ok. i am moving to 55 jalan sth sth. i will have my own room, my own bookshelves, my own table, my own armchair/settee/sofa, own space. mwahaha. i want to paint my room light light light light lavender hah. cos now my room is pink. yest went to courts.. saw mp3s. so damn ex! and that lena lim can buy iriver and ipod mini. like wth. rich rich rich. ipod is like $618 + 36 bucks every month for 2 years. i wonder how jiangning pay lorh. never mind. i shall stick to radio and diskman.

jn is sad, cos qq n her are drifting apart. on wednesday i was sitting alone when kevy n jas were talking animately and macey was using the comp, so i sat alone. and she comes and talks to me about qq n her n syy n jessie. and i was saying that morning to kevy and jas 'relationships are strained' and stretching a rubber band to illustrate. i can see the future mwahahaha

today fahy returned pt nd i failed. ms chung also returned el compre and i failed abmyssally. that how you spell it? luckily compre they decrease the weightage. hah and for geog i got 18 upon 20!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i want to gloat at the rest of them who got 14 n 15 or lower. i noe it will haunt me. give me a minute of gloatness. one minute..

today fahy showed us the rest of outbreak. it’s a movie on a very very infectious disease similar to ebola. so anw. jas was lying on kevy like a couple gonna do it that kind. according to myself. n rmb my last post? i have realised macey is a social butterfly and i am too boring a leaf for her colourful social circle. i shall not be sad if she don’t ask me go recess/lunch. i shall not be sad.

kevyna is changing. she is becoming more and more like gillian. they got the same kind of jacket! like sh1t lah! i don’t want kevy to become like gil. she’s growing up. now carries mp3 n wallet n hp in a pouch. i think she loves jas a lot. thanks jas, but i think you love kevy more than me. so i am saying there is no need to wan3 hui2 our relationship, if we still have any. no! that sound like we have yi4 dao1 liang3 duan4. as in you n me is like qq n jn. drifting drifting………….. until we cant see each other.

I am a little girl who refuses to grow up. I want to be small and be chong3ed by everyone. I don’t want to be big. I wish everyone would stay the same forever. But I know that will never happen, because people change. That is inevitable. Everybody’s changing and I doesn’t feel the same. [That song by Keane]

And I know cheryl really doesn’t like me. On wed she went to kevy and gave her a hug. I was standing beside kevy and she didn’t even give me a glance. I am part of the chairs, desks, walls. Yeah right. HELLO! I am a human being!!! Flesh and blood, flesh and blood. At least glance at me. I don’t care if you acknowledge me or not. Even when you acknowledge my presence, I don’t feel it coming from your heart. Your “ryl loves kweks”s are just empty. hollow. i feel so hollow now. No love for anyone, anything.

There’s a difference between
Born to hate and born to love.
There’s a difference between
Born to be hated and born to be loved.
What is the difference?
What is the thin line that separates them?
ANSWER ME!

My eyes aren’t even red or wet while I write this because you and I know I am cold-blooded, hard-hearted, passive, and cruel. I have no self-pity; but pity for others. I don’t know why. Maybe I do pity myself that’s why I think these thoughts.

flew into your heart at [9:34 pm]

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